Private kindergarten

Here again is a chance for you to find out more about the school. “Ask questions, but don’t ask questions that are obvious or covered in the brochure,” says Levey. “You might ask about how the school fosters leadership or helps kids grow up in a global world.”

As for preparing your child? “ I tried to make sure Julian got enough sleep the night before and ate a good breakfast. Short of that, it’s out of your control,” says Banerji.

Extra credit There are conflicting opinions about whether being involved in your nursery school improves your odds in the kindergarten race. One mom in Brooklyn swears that her design of the school’s website got her child a glowing recommendation from the director, which made all the difference. Admissions directors say that volunteering certainly can’t hurt and may help them get to know you and your family better, but they note that it isn’t necessarily an ace in the hole.

Insider tip Even if you think you’ve got the world’s most influential connection, never, ever name-drop—and don’t ask Mr. Big to write an additional reference letter for your kid. Both tactics can backfire, says Uhry, if the person isn’t well liked at the school. You should, however, write a first-choice letter to your top pick if the school allows them (some don’t), but try to keep it short and sweet. “The letter should say that if your child is accepted, you’ll enroll. Add in a few specific reasons why the school is your first choice,” says Goldman.

True, the nursery school and kindergarten gantlets are stressful and time-consuming, but in the end your dedication, anxiety and effort will pay off. Most children wind up at a school where they and their parents are happy. So take a deep breath, pat yourself on the back, and start thinking about how to get your child into college. Kidding. (Sort of.)

	Nursery school
	Public kindergarten
	Private kindergarten