Dads don’t do playdates

Scott Coltrane, associate director of the Center for Family Studies at the University of California–Riverside, believes that men and women really do take distinct approaches to child care. “Dads communicate differently. They might be less verbal or more physical than a mother,” he says, adding that men typically roughhouse and play outside with their kids more than moms do. “The wonderful thing is that they don’t have to do it like mothers. They can do it their own way.”

Skeptics posit that dads enjoy open-ended adventures not because they’re more free-spirited than uptight moms, but because they steal time from other, less appealing responsibilities—namely, cleaning. Joan Williams, director of the Center for WorkLife Law at the University of California–Hastings law school, notes that many at-home dads see their role as taking care of the children, not the house. Casey admits that’s his view. “I clean to the extent I can,” he says. “I keep the kids alive and healthy. Anything above that is gravy.” One study from the University of Michigan found that mothers did an average of 28 hours of housework a week, while fathers did only ten.