Tot Chef

Mix masters Dividing up prep tasks help control the chaos.

Photograph: Cinzia Reale-Castello

Planning meals can be stressful enough, but involving children in the prep sounds like a shortcut to a migraine. That is, until you spend some time with Lauren Bank Deen, a veteran Food Network producer and trained chef. Her new book, Kitchen Playdates, maps out a series of easy-to-execute get-togethers—from an impromptu pizza party to a birthday blowout—that center on assembling, not just eating, the meal. The Brooklyn mother of two (Natasha, 5, and Mathias, 6 ½) recently let us in on a few of her secrets.

What should we keep in mind when cooking with kids?
Don’t try to do too much or be overly ambitious. And know your audience: My daughter stays in the kitchen the whole time and does everything from getting the ingredients out to cleaning up, but my son cracks an egg and then wants to know why he isn’t eating already.

How do you make a playdate work in a tiny urban kitchen?
Our apartment in Brooklyn has a galley kitchen, but we still have other families over. I partition off an area in the living room or dining room. Inexpensive oilcloth or a vinyl tablecloth protects the table, and I put away anything I don’t want to get splattered—you have to police a bit more.

It seems like getting kids to help could actually double your work. How do you make it fun for everyone, including yourself?
Ask friends to bring some of the ingredients—you don’t have to do everything yourself. A dinner swap is a great Sunday activity. Tell the other family, “Come over at three, and please go home by eight, before everyone melts down.” [Laughs] Assemble ingredients for two main courses; pick one that cooks on top of the stove and one that goes into the oven. Order in food while you cook, and then spend the evening fixing the two additional dinners. At the end, the families split up the food. You’ve solved your weekday dinner rut while hanging out with your friends.

Is it hard to keep kids focused on cooking during the holidays?
Yeah, they get gift crazy. I explain to my kids the stories behind the rituals and the recipes—whether it’s a family dish that they always eat or, with Hanukkah, the story of the lamp and the oil. I’m Jewish and my husband’s Unitarian, so we have a lot of celebrations in our house. This year, we’re joining another family that celebrates Christmas and making some of their favorite cookies and dishes, to try to do a little bit from both traditions.

Okay, we know not to let a two-year-old hold a knife. But what can they do at that age?
Measuring can start very young, and whisking. They can roll dough and use cookie cutters. And if they start practicing with plastic knives at age three or four—teach them how to hold their hand in a claw so their fingers are back and the knife is against the knuckles—they’ll do better when they pick up a real, sharp knife. It’s akin to riding a bike: The training wheels are the plastic knife. Sooner or later you do have to take the wheels off and hold your breath; same thing with the knife.

Tell us a bit about your work in the public schools.
A few years ago, I started cooking in my son’s pre-K class at P.S. 58, in Carroll Gardens. We worked with recipes related to the lesson plan: When they taught shapes, we made dough and cut out different shapes with cookie cutters. When they studied bears, I created a cookie with slivered almonds for claws.

I also work with Spoons Across America’s Days of Taste, which is a nationwide program. We bring local chefs into the classroom—Jean-Jacques Bernat from Provence en Boîte, or Nancy Olson, the pastry chef from Gramercy Tavern—for four days in October. The first time we go into the classroom, we talk about taste—sour, sweet, bitter, salty—and explain flavor combinations.

The next week, we go to the Greenmarket, and kids meet the farmers and taste different foods. On the last visit, they go to a restaurant for a chef’s tour and a complimentary meal. For a lot of these kids, it’s the first time that they’re eating in a terrific restaurant. The experience can make them more excited about trying new foods in the future— and that’s what getting kids cooking is all about.

A number of the recipes in the book are pretty sophisticated, flavor-wise. Is this kids’ food?
I don’t make different food for children and adults. If kids help make something, they’re more likely to try it. Just this week, I served my kids spinach and they both said, “Yuck. I hate spinach.” I said, “Oh, I’m having mine with lots of Parmesan cheese. Want to help me grate it?” I gave them the Microplane, because tools are cool to them. Then I said, “Oh, I think it needs olive oil. Will you help me pour?”

They watched me eat, and then asked, “Can I have some?” That doesn’t happen every time—it might not happen again! But it happened this week, so I was very happy.

Have you ever witnessed a kitchen meltdown?
Oh yeah. I’ve pretty much been hit by every vegetable that you can be hit by. [Laughs] You just have to keep your sense of humor and be flexible. You might say, “You know what? This isn’t going to work today; let’s try again another day.”