Age-appropriate jewelry

I was barely out of diapers when my parents pierced my ears, so I didn’t think twice about bejeweling my daughter’s little lobes as soon as the doctor gave me the okay. My husband, on the other hand, was hesitant. Why not let her decide? he suggested. What if this well-meaning act taught her that she wasn’t in control of her body? Why not delay gratification and make it a special treat that she has to anticipate and earn? I countered that in Bensonhurst, where I grew up, all the babies got their ears pierced and we didn’t turn out spoiled or scarred for life. But in the end, he convinced me to hold off—for now.

Allison Sanchez-Masi, a South Slope mother of two-year-old and five-month-old girls, was less easily swayed. “My dad is from Paraguay, where a baby girl’s ears are pierced before she even leaves the hospital,” she explains. “Even though their last name is Murray, my girls are Hispanic, and getting their ears pierced young is important to me. It’s part of their South American culture.” So, despite her mother-in-law’s deeming it “inhumane,” both babies got their first earrings at about four months.

If done in a sterile environment and properly cared for afterward, piercing is safe for babies as young as two months—after their first round of immunizations, advises Dr. Adriana Matiz, a pediatrician at New York–Presbyterian Morgan Stanley Children’s Hospital. But screw-post earrings are the only bijous she unreservedly approves of for infants and toddlers. “Necklaces should be worn on a very limited basis, and never to sleep, because they can get caught in bedding or break and be swallowed,” she says. “And rings are extremely dangerous; perfect for going down a windpipe, even with older toddlers.”

As kids get older, safety is less of an issue than appropriateness. Ines Llull, a jewelry designer and Bay Ridge mother of three, says that although she is pro-jewelry, all accessories are not created equal. “My daughter is four, and I’m trying to avoid flashy items that are too big or branded by pop icons for as long as possible,” says Llull.

Jen Bruder, owner of the tween boutique Berkley Girl on the Upper East and West sides and a mother of two girls under two, agrees: “I limit the bling in the store,” she says. “It just doesn’t seem right for an eight- or ten-year-old to be wearing a large stone. It’s a symbol of something that a girl that age shouldn’t be associated with.” Size definitely matters, agrees Elise Perelman, who offers jewelry-making birthday parties and after-school programs at her store Lunessa in Soho: “I see a lot of parents telling their children they can only pick out something small—tiny hoops, post earrings in animal shapes.”

We do, though, live in Tiffany’s hometown, where even small rocks can come with big price tags. Joe Rissin, owner of Rissin’s Jewelry Clinic in the diamond district, says that expensive jewelry given casually to children, including tweens, is destined for loss or damage. (He proceeds to talk about a banged-up $15,000 diamond-studded emerald ring that was brought in for repair by a teen who’d worn the heirloom to softball practice. Darn—cross that off our holiday shopping list!) Think practical when purchasing keepsake items for special occasions: quality watches for boys and personalized necklaces for girls. “When they celebrate their bat mitzvahs, my kids will get something nicer,” says Debra Nussbaum Cohen, who lives in Prospect Heights with her eight- and ten-year-old girls and a 12-year-old son. “For now, my daughters love to wear woven friendship bracelets or glittery stuff they buy with their allowance.”

Bruder agrees that there’s nothing wrong with some affordable, age-appropriate razzle-dazzle. Her stores carry itemslike Snap Caps, a necklace with interchangeable, hand-painted bottle-cap pendants, which happens to have been designed by a 13-year-old girl. “I wouldn’t wear those necklaces myself now, but they are cute and colorful, and just right for a kid that age,” says Bruder. “They take me back to when I was in the fifth grade wearing fluorescent colors.”

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• Jewelry for kids
• Shopping articles
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